Dear Manay Gina,
I am in my early 30s while my boyfriend is in his early 50s. We have been steadies for the past three and a half years. I haven’t been married. He is separated from his first wife. He also has two children.
We have a wonderful time together, and enjoy a lot of the same things. He is a kind man, but I believe that three and a half years is plenty of time to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I’ve come to realize that he has no intention of marrying me. I’m not desperate, but I would like to get married someday, and the older I get, the less likely it is to happen. I have decided to break it off with him and want to know what I should say to make him understand that I think he is great, but that we aren’t a match. Please help me!
Laarni
Dear Laarni,
Well, “fish or cut bait” isn’t right for the occasion, so why not just say what you wrote to Manay Gina – that you think he’s great, but the two of you aren’t a match? That’s as gracious a goodbye as anyone could wish for. And how smart of you not to try to stick it to him. Your thinking is very mature, and odds are that you will land on your feet … most likely next to someone who’s not 20 years older, with ex-wife and two children on his resume. You should look at this development as a chance to trade up.
Affectionately,
Manay Gina
“Tact is the intelligence of the heart.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Send questions to dearmanay[email protected]
