Hi Ms. Rica,
Kailangan ko po ang advise niyo. Mag-six months na po kami ng boyfriend ko, at masaya naman po kami. Pero po sabi ng mga kaibigan ko at nararamdaman ko po na palagi na po kaming magkasama at nauubos na po ang oras ko kasama siya. Wala na po akong time for school. Kapag sinasabi ko po sa kaniya na may kailangan akong gawin, nagtatampo po siya. Hindi ko na po alam ang gagawin. Iniwan na po ako ng mga friends ko, hindi ko na po sila nakakasama. Ayaw ko po makipagbreak sa boyfriend ko, pero paano ko po ba ihahandle ito?
Torn Between
Hello Torn Between,
Hindi ka nag-iisa sa iyong problema. There are couples na nagkakaroon ng ganitong challenge lalo na sa umpisa ng kanilang relationship. Mabuti nga na mukhang alam mo na ang iyong gustong mangyari, hindi mo lang alam kung paano ito gagawin. Here are some things to try:
Unang-una, kailangan mong i-clarify ang iyong relationship priorities. Isipin mo ang oras that you want to spend with your boyfriend and your friends. Set a reasonable time that you should spend with them without sacrificing any time for yourself, including time for school.
Second, kailangan mo itong sabihin sa iyong boyfriend. Tell him how you feel about spending time with your friends and time for school. Sabihin mo sa kaniya na kailangan mo rin ng time for yourself and other responsibilities. Be honest and open to him. Tell him how much he means to you and how much you love him, but also explain to him how it’s also better for you to spend time apart from time to time. May mga kaibigan ba siya who he can spend time with? Maybe he can touch base with them again. If it’s possible, baka mas mabuti na magschedule kayo ng time for the week where you can do your own thing.
Third, try to look for ways that you can do things at the same time. For example, pwede ba kayo mag-aral o magtrabaho together? Also, maybe you can invite your boyfriend to spend time with your friends too, para mas makilala rin nila ang isa’t isa at mas maging kumportable sila with each other. That way, it will be easier to spend time with your friends without hurting your boyfriend’s feelings and maiintindihan din ng friends mo kung gusto mo ng alone time with your boyfriend.
It may be difficult at first to balance time between your boyfriend, your friends, and your schoolwork, but knowing your priorities and letting them understand what’s important to you will help in finding ways to keep them all in your life nang wala kang nasasaktan sa kanila. Hope that helps!
Love and lust,
Rica
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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex Therapist and Sex Educator. Follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her YouTube channel, Count To Ten.
