Dear Manay Gina,
I revealed to my close friend a secret about my personality. I am gay and I would like to come out in my own terms. However, since I opened up to her, she became very invasive. Her invasion of my privacy offends me because I am also quite independent and I don’t want to be dictated upon, when it comes to making personal decisions. I have tried to ease out of this friendship, but it has proven difficult because we are involved in the same activities and work together as board members for some groups.
As I prepare to come out, I would like to only be surrounded by people who love and support me. How can I move out of this friendship without being offensive?
Wally
Dear Wally,
The way to end a friendship is to stop sharing intimacies and behave politely when you are forced together. If she questions this, tell her that you don’t like her second-guessing your motives about something so deep, personal and important.
When you are ready to come out, you will. It would be nice to be only surrounded by loving and supportive people, but life doesn’t always work that way, partly because the busybodies of the world are out there throughout your life. If they cannot be avoided, then they must be endured.
Eventually, and in retrospect, you may find this sort of busybody interference about your deepest motives endearing on some level because, she has really put a lot of thought and theorizing into your personal life. Maybe, she just cares, way too much.
With affection,
Manay Gina
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“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia
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