Hi Ms. Rica,
Gusto ko lang po malaman kung paano po ba ako makasisiguro na “virgin” pa ang boyfriend ko? Sabi niya virgin pa siya, pero how can I be so sure?
Thank you,
First Timer
Dear First Timer,
Nasagot ko na ito dati. Kaya ullitin ko lang ulit: Virginity is a social construct and not a physiological one. Kaya, there is no official medical definition for virginity, although it is often defined as a state of never having experienced sexual intercourse – penile-vaginal penetration. Ang lalim ‘di ba?
Madalas, ginagamit natin ang salitang “virgin” para sa mga babae because it implies femininity. Pero ang pagiging “virgin” ay pwede ring gamitin para sa mga lalaki. Also, there are many sexual activities outside penetration and intercourse that can also be considered as acts to lose virginity: pwedeng manual stimulation or fingering, oral or anal sex, and even masturbation. Kaya, nasasayo iyun kung paano mo ba i-dedefine ang pagiging “virgin.”
In terms of the body, there are no signs physiologically that can tell you if a person is still a virgin or not (for both males and females). Kaya kung titignan mo lang ang katawan ng boyfriend or girlfriend mo, hindi mo malalaman kung virgin pa siya o hindi na.
If your notion of virginity in men involves anal sex, virginity cannot also be detected just based on the anus. Although the anus stretches during sex, it soon contracts back to its regular size after sexual activity is over. Kaya kahit tignan mo pa ang butas ay wala itong masasabi sayo …at baka kung ano pa ang makita mo! Yikes.
I’m curious. What makes you ask that question? Are you weighing the pros and cons of having sex for the first time? Ano ba ang maidudulot sa iyo kung virgin pa siya? O kung hindi na siya virgin? Would it affect your decision on having sex with him for the first time?
I think it’s absolutely great that you are doing your research! Tama yan, girl (or boy!) Kailangan sigurado muna sa pinapasok bago isuko ang Bataan. Di ba? And I think that’s more important than knowing if your partner is a virgin or not. Think about if you’re ready or not. And if you are, make sure that whatever happens, you’re safe in more ways than one! Have fun!
With love and lust,
Rica
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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, Sex Educator. She opines that sexual empowerment for Filipinos is sexier than sex.
Follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and facebook.com/ConservativeAko and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her podcast, bit.ly/conservativeako on Spotify. Join the Conservative Ako Community on Facebook for more advise on sex and love!
