Hi Ms. Rica,
Gusto ko po i-ghost na lang ang MU ko. Quarantine naman po eh, so hindi niya ko mamimiss. Okay lang ba ‘yun?
Mumu
Hello Mumu,
Ang pagiging “ghost” ay hindi kailanman nakitang maganda o nakakabuti sa kahit na sino man. Minsan nga ay nakakatakot pa.
Ghosting means the sudden discontinuing of all contact with another person to end a relationship. Ibig sabihin, para ka na lang naging multo – biglang nawala. It can be through failing to text, hindi na pagsagot ng tawag, o kaya naman pagdi-disappear na lang completely. Ghosting can happen to anyone at any time, kahit na malaki na ang investment mo sa inyong relationship, at kahit na gaano ka pa ka-catch.
According to studies, madalas na mga young adults ang gumagawa nito. Para sa kanila, mas madali kasing bigla na lang mawala kapag wala na silang interest sa partner nila. Mas madali na rin kasi ngayong maghanap ng iba dahil sa iba’t-ibang dating apps. Kaya, may thinking na, “okay lang biglang mawala, makakahanap din naman ako ng iba.” Easy in-easy out.
It also takes courage to admit and to tell your partner na ayaw mo na. Mahirap din kasing malaman na may nasasaktan kang iba by telling them that you don’t want to be with them anymore or that they no longer interest you. So you’d rather, gaya ng sinabi mo, mawala na lang o maglaho nang parang bula. Para wala ka na rin responsibility sa kung anong mararamdaman niya. Ayaw mo nang ma-guilty kung baga.
If you look at it from a bigger picture, ghosting is not a way to treat other people with respect. Basically, kung mang-ghost ka, para mo na ring inamin na takot kang panindigan ang desisyon mo. Ibig din sabihin ay hindi mo pa kaya to be in a mature relationship.
Para maiwasan ang gulo o kung ano pa mang hindi pagkakaunawaan, it’s better if you give your relationship the right closure, by ending it in a mature and respectful way – and that is to talk to your partner and to be completely honest about your feelings. Quarantine naman, so you can do it through technology, which can give you a layer of protection. Kaya, huwag kang matakot maging honest and to be a respectful person. At this time, mas OK ‘yun kaysa maging MUMU.
Good luck!
With love and lust,
Rica
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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, Sex Educator. She opines that sexual empowerment for Filipinos is sexier than sex.
Follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and facebook.com/ConservativeAko and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her podcast, bit.ly/conservativeako on Spotify. Join the Conservative Ako Community on Facebook for more advise on sex and love!