Hi Doc Rica,
Araw-araw pong nanonood ng porn at nagma-masturbate ang asawa ko. Hindi na po kami nagse-sex. Miss na miss ko na po ang asawa ko. Ano ang gagawin ko?
Porn over Me
Hi Porn Over Me,
Ang marriage ay merong ups and downs, pero kapag nasasamahan ito ng sexual tension and lack of intimacy, mas nagiging mahirap ang relasyon lalo na kung hindi mo nararamdaman ang pagkagusto sa iyo ng asawa mo.
Walang instant fix sa inyong problems ngayon dahil every relationship has a lot of varying factors. Ibig sabihin, magkakaiba ang approach and solution to relationship problems. Kailangan ninyong magreflect kung ano ang kailangan ninyo sa relasyon ninyo and kung ano ang mga pwede ninyong i-compromise pareho ng asawa mo. Sa palagay ko, you and your husband need to seek help from a relationship therapist or marriage counselor. Kung hindi ito maaayos through the help of a professional, kailangan nang ire-evaluate kung healthy pa ba para sa inyong dalawa to be in that relationship.
Ang panonood ng porn ng iyong partner at ang pagma-masturbate everyday ay hindi naman talaga masama kung tutuusin. Pero kung nagkakaroon na ng neglect o nagiging dahilan na ito ng distress sa inyong samahan, kailangan nang may gawin about it. Naiintindihan ko na your needs are being overlooked kaya nga naaapektohan ka na din at napapaisip maghanap ng iba. I hope you also consider pleasuring yourself for your sexual needs before you consider and do anything that can damage the relationship permanently.
Partnership ang marriage at kailangan ninyong magcooperate with each other to move forward. Kailangan niyo din maintindihan na hindi niyo makokontrol ang feelings ng isa’t-isa. Kung cooperation na mismo ang nawawala despite communicating with your husband, kailangan mong pag-aralan kung healthy pa ba ang relasyong ito. Seek help para mas maliwanagan ka and find comfort and peace of mind. Good luck.
With Love and Lust,
Rica
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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, Sex Educator. She opines that sexual empowerment for Filipinos is sexier than sex.
Follow her at facebook. com/TheSexyMind and facebook.com/ConservativeAko and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her podcast, bit.ly/conservativeako on Spotify. Join the Conservative Ako Community on Facebook for more advise on sex and love!
