By RICA CRUZ
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Doc Rica,
I am in a long distance relationship po for the past year. Pero nagkakaroon naman kami ng chance ng boyfriend ko magkita even if he’s in Cebu. But of course dahil sa quarantine, less chances na nagkikita kami. He wants to try sexting or phone sex. Medyo naiilang ako and hindi ko alam kung paano ko gagawin yon. Hindi kasi ako masyadong expressive or verbal so parang nahihirapan ako. Ayoko din naman magvideo. May pointers po ba kayong mabibigay?
Thank you,
Astro Girl
Hello Astro Girl,
For several couples na nasa long distance relationships or ‘yung medyo mas technologically inclined, nagagamit ang sexting or phone sex para medyo makaraos or to scratch their sexual itch. Nakakatulong din ito in verbalizing if something feels good or saying what you want. This helps in building your sexual identity and communication na din in a way.
Kailangan mo maisip kung what about sexting or phone sex makes you uncomfortable. Puwedeng nappressure ka na isulat how you feel or to actually listen to yourself saying what you want. Importante and consent kahit with sexting and phone sex so if you are not comfortable with doing this, let your boyfriend know.
Understandable ang concern with sexting and phone sex dahil considered na din itong semi-public. Other activities are done in closed doors while sexts may be received kahit na nasa public ka. Meron ding mga tao na naeexcite with this idea of being aroused in public. Pero of course photos or sexts may also leak and go viral thus the risk.
Importante to make your partner know how you feel about this. Let him know kung saan ka hindi comfortable. Keep in mind the potential risk but also consider on how this may help you communicate better about your sex life. Keep on exploring what works for both of you. Always enjoy and (virtually) be safe!
With love and lust,
Doc Rica
Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, Sex Educator. She opines that sexual empowerment for Filipinos is sexier than sex.
Follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and facebook.com/ConservativeAko and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her podcast, bit.ly/conservativeako on Spotify. Join the Conservative Ako Community on Facebook for more advise on sex and love!
