Not just about sexy time

BY RICA CRUZ

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Hi Doc Rica,

I hope you can help me. Hindi na kami nagse-sex ng asawa ko at naiisip ko na rin i-try sa iba! What can we do?

Thanks,

Need to Cheat

Hi Need to Cheat,

I’m sorry that you feel that way. Pero oo nga, kahit sa hindi mag-asawa ay nangyayari (o hindi) ang pagkawala ng sexy time. Nakaka-alarma diba? Pero madami naman pwedeng maging solusyon diyan (na hindi kailangan ng iba pa!):

1. Communicate! Be honest and talk about how you feel. Healthy couples talk at least 20 minutes a day – not just about sexy time, but also about how you feel about each other. Kapag alam na niya kung anong nararamdaman mo, then he can help you enjoy sexy time more so you’d be excited about it.
2. Date night! A lot of couples forget that the date is part of the foreplay. It’s something that should inspire you and excite you. Plan a special night out, go to a romantic dinner, kahit isaw lang sa kanto, basta naglalandian kayo, pwede na!
3. Enjoy your sexy time. When you have sexy time, try to focus on your partner’s touch and smell, and how all these make you feel. Kung gusto mong hawakan ang sarili mo, go for it! Huwag kang mahiya. Ang importante, pareho kayong nageenjoy.
4. Have fun by yourself. If you can’t enjoy your sexy time with your husband, then at the very least, have fun with yourself and by yourself. Explore what would make you aroused and excited for him. Minsan kasi, kailangan lang kung paano natin mapapasaya ang sarili para gustuhin ulit makipagsex. Pag alam mo na, you can teach him, or make him watch you do it! Parang self-made live porn lang.
5. MOMOL. (make out-make out lang). Minsan, when you’re both tired and not in the mood for it, you really don’t need to go all in sexy time. Minsan, kissing, cuddling, and canoodling each other are enough to keep that excitement alive.

Huwag mo ipressure ang sarili mo. Ang importante ay makahanap kayo ng iba’t ibang klaseng gawain that would keep you two connected. And eventually, susunod din ang frequent and yummy sexy time! But of course, kung gagawin mo man sa iba, make sure that you’re safe in more ways than one!

With love and lust,

Doc Rica

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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, and Sex Educator. Follow her at facebook.com/ TheSexyMind and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG.