BY RICA CRUZ
Hello Doc Rica,
Very sexually active kami ng boyfriend ko throughout our relationship. We started out really with having sex without the relationship then eventually naging kami na din. Happy to say that we are now engaged to be married at the end of this year.
Anyway, we both wanted to try being abstinent para sobrang ma-miss namin at i-crave namin ang isa’t isa. Kumbaga buhos sa honeymoon and sana pwede na makapagtravel by that time. Mahirap po bang gawin ito and ano pong tips mabibigay ninyo so we can go through this?
Maraming Salamat po,
Green Tea
Hello Green Tea,
First of all, I believe congratulations are in order for your upcoming wedding. Maraming iba’t ibang methods ang ginagawa ng mga taong in a relationship for them to miss and crave the sexual encounter with their partners. Abstinence is one of them and the level of difficulty will be dependent sa inyong dalawa dahil nga sabi mo, you are very sexually active. Deciding to be abstinent over a certain period of time before marriage is also called postponement.
Kailangan ninyong idefine ang rules and boundaries ng usapan ninyong ito. Abstinence kasi may mean that both of you not having any sexual experience. On the other hand, pwede din naman itong just not having the penetration. You have to both acknowledge that during this time, you will still have your sexual urges, desires and feelings. If in your agreement, merong sexual activities allowed whether together or not, then maybe you can try to use that to your advantage. Otherwise, I would suggest taking your sexual energy and redirect them into other activities like sports, meditation, a new hobby or something.
Talk with your partner and take time to define this agreement and make sure that both of you are on the same page. Be open with what and how you feel. Do not feel bad if you give in during your supposedly abstinence period. Consider na maraming ways to enhance your sexual relationship even if you are already married. Pwede nyo din yon ibuhos sa honeymoon as you would prefer. Explore, enjoy but always be safe.
With Love and Lust,
Doc Rica
*
Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, and Sex Educator. Follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG.
