BY FR. BEL R. SAN LUIS, SVD
ONE woman told another: “My neighbor is always criticizing her husband. But look at me. My husband is irresponsible, lazy, and a drunkard; but have I ever said anything bad about him?” (Look who’s talking!) In the gospel of this 23rd Sunday, Jesus says, “If your brother (or sister) sins against you, go and show him his fault” (Mt 18,15) – and not talk behind his back, as that wife in the story did.
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Many of us have the wrong notion that loving someone means not disagreeing when called for. For instance, a friend was seen often in the company of a woman who was not his wife. His friends gossiped and even joked about the relationship. Poor guy, his marriage broke up. All the friends could say was, “I could see it coming,” but why did they not call his attention before it was too late?
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True love and friendship also means correcting or disagreeing when a friend, a loved one, a superior or leader is going astray. In the gospel of this 23rd Sunday, Jesus says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault” (Mt 18,15). In teaching us about responsibility for others, Christ says that part of love is to correct the faults of others.
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When we have to correct people, however, it should not be too harsh, but rather done gently in the spirit of charity and concern. As the writer Frank Clark puts it, “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” There are strict parents who constantly scold and criticize their children negatively. Consequently, the kids grow up to be shy before people because they lose their self-esteem and confidence.
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“KEEP IT BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU,” Christ says. If you really think that your husband is not spending enough time at home, tell him – and not to your next-door neighbor or friend. It’s not easy to speak out. But it is usually better to risk having friction and solve a problem, rather than allow it to fester till it explodes or pushes the couple to break up.
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Finally, let’s remember that criticism spares no one. Even our Lord Jesus Christ was not spared harsh remarks and insults – “friend of tax collectors and sinners,” “a glutton and drinker,” “crazy” (read Mk 3,21), to mention some.
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ASK YOURSELF: When you see a relative, a friend, or co-worker going astray, do you try to call his or her attention in a gentle way? And when you’re corrected, do you get angry? Or would you rather reflect that there may be some truth that can help and guide you? Know how to distinguish a positive criticism from a negative and destructive one.
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THE LIGHTER SIDE. Former President Ramos once told Erap, the vice president then, how hard it was to be the head of the country: “People are always criticizing!” VP Erap said, “I can see that, Sir. That’s why I don’t envy your shoes.” (He meant: “I don’t want to be in your shoes”)
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When Erap became president, he was deluged by criticisms and complaints. For instance, an officer kept complaining about the perennial lack of funds. The president chided him: “Puro ka na lang reklamo. I’m tired of your reclamations.”
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SUPPORT SEMINARIANS. It is enrollment time again. Please help our seminarians in their studies. Donate an amount or sponsor a seminarian’s schooling for a year.
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Seminarians are very important in the Church. Without them, we cannot have priests, bishops, and popes. There are no “instant priests.” They all start as seminarians.
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For inquiry, e-mail me at: [email protected]. * * *
FAMILY TV MASS is aired on 5PLUS Channel 59 from 6 a.m. to 7 a.m. today and anytime at MCFI SVD Media on YouTube and Facebook. Priest presider: FR. LOUIS PUNSALAN, SVD.
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The FAMILY that prays together stays together.
