By Rica Cruz
Hi Ms. Rica,
I’m 19 years old po and my boyfriend and I are sexually intimate. I have a question lang po kasi po kapag may ginagawa siya sa akin, wala po akong maramdaman. He stimulates me po orally and manually with his fingers, pero kahit pong anong gawin niya, wala akong maramdaman. Kaya po minsan, kunyari na lang po na nasa-sarapan ako. May mali po ba sa akin? Am I too young to feel anything? Ganito po ba talaga?
Too Young To Come
Hello Too Young To Come,
I’m sorry that you’re not getting pleasure out of your sexual escapades with your boyfriend. But don’t worry, pwede itong masolusyonan.
Nung sinabi mo na wala kang nararamdaman when your boyfriend goes down on you or stimulates you with his hands, ang ibig sabihin ba nito ay hindi ka na-a-arouse, at all? Or may nararamdaman kang sarap, pero hindi ka makapag-orgasm?
Magkaiba kasi ang problema sa arousal, at sa orgasm. One way to resolve your issue, is to know the root of the problem.
You also say that you fake “it” when your boyfriend stimulates you. The problem with this is that when you fake it, you’re “cheating” yourself and your boyfriend. Paano mo malalaman kung ano ang masarap para sa iyo, kung finafake mo lang palagi? Siyempre, ang iisipin ng boyfriend mo ay tama ang ginagawa niya, kasi nakikita niya na nasasarapan ka, kahit hindi naman. Kaya, mas makakabuti para sa inyong dalawa kung sasabihin mo sa kaniya ang totoo. Para rin, makakahanap kayo ng ibang pwedeng gawin that hopefully can arouse you or help you orgasm.
Okay, nothing’s wrong with you. Baka lang hindi ka pa natututo kung paano ma-achieve yun. So this the time for you to learn. Touching yourself and knowing what feels good for you could be a good start.
Also, you’re not too young to orgasm. May mga bata nga na nagoorgasm. Children as young as 5 years old can have an orgasm. Although most women experience their first orgasm while they’re in college, as I presume, you are. So, you’re okay. It’s normal that you haven’t experience orgasm yet.
So how can you resolve this? Again, kailangan mo matuto. The idea is, kailangan alam mo muna kung ano ang magpapasarap sa iyo, and then teach your boyfriend to do it. Good sexual intimacy can only be achieved through time.
Hindi siya instant. All you have to do is practice, practice, practice! And no faking, please! #takeitfromthesexymind
Love and lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Twitter or Instagram: @_ricacruz.
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.