Hi Ms. Rica,
I need your help. Palagi po kasing nanonood ng porn ang boyfriend ko. Sabi niya, addict na daw siya sa porn na kahit anong gawin niya, hindi daw niya po mapigilan manood. Masama po ba to para samin? Ano po ba ang pwede naming gawin?
Watcher GF
Hi Watcher GF,
Porn is a controversial topic, even within us sexologists – may nagsasabi na nakakasira ito ng relationships, nakaka-encourage ng unhealthy sexual behaviours, at puwede pa ngang magpromote ng sexual aggression. On the other side, may nagsasabi din that porn can enhance sex lives, can provide a safe space for sexual enjoyment, and reduce sexual assault.
Having said that, walang diagnosis na nagsasabing porn is addicting. Wala ring formal at scientific criteria to show that porn addiction exists.
Baka ang kailangan mo munang tignan ay kung paano nakakaapekto ang panonood ng porn sa iyong boyfriend at sa inyong relationship.
Nakakapagtrabaho pa ba siya nang maayos? Nakakatulog nang tama? Nagagawa pa ba niya ang kaniyang mga kailangan gawin? Do you still have a healthy sex life? O lahat ng ito ay naaapektuhan negatively dahil sa panonood niya ng porn?
Kung negative na ang epekto nito at gusto na ng boyfriend mong tumigil sa panonood ng porn pero hindi niya magawa, it might help if he gets help from a professional sex therapist (like me!).
Additionally, puwedeng pareho kayo ng boyfriend mo magpunta sa therapy para ma-address pati ang issues mo about his porn watching. It seems like you’re concerned because of this behavior. Ano ba ang feelings mo towards him watching porn? What is your concern about? Do you feel that he may be more interested in porn than you? Do you consider watching porn cheating? Knowing your concerns might help para mas madali niyo itong mapagusapan at masolusyonan.
If you want to openly talk about it, baka mas makatulong kung tatanungin mo siya kung ano ang nagugustuhan niya sa panonood ng porn. Ano ba ang nagagawa ng porn sa kaniya? May nakukuha ba siya dito na hindi niya kaya makuha sa ibang bagay o tao around him?
Usually, compulsive watching is linked to other things in a person’s life, hindi lang tungkol sa issues on sex. Whatever you decide to do, it would definitely be helpful kung makahanap kayo ng professional to talk about this to. Hope that helps!
With love and lust,
Rica
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Rica Cruz is a licensed psychologist, sex and relationships therapist, and sex educator. She opines that sexual empowerment for Filipinos is sexier than sex.
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You can catch more of her every Thursday at Boys’ Night Out, Magic 89.9 and follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and @_ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her YouTube channel, Count to Ten.
