Masturbating son

BY RICA CRUZ

 Doc Rica Cruz,

I am 48 and a father of a 13-year-old young man. Noong minsan pagpasok ko sa banyo, nahuli ko syang nagma-mas­turbate. Parehas kaming nagu­lat. Pero noong nagkaroon ng chance ay pinag-usapan namin ‘yung nangyari. He has been masturbating almost every chance that he gets for the past year daw. I am not very fond of masturbating even when I was younger e. Siguro growing with a Catholic family and being taught it is a bad thing.

In addition, medyo masakit daw minsan when my son masturbates. Nakakakita pa nga daw siya ng mga tiny veins na bago. I told him that’s nor­mal but deep inside I am quite worried because it has been so long since I was actively masturbating.

Thank you.

Big Daddy

Hi Big Daddy!

Ang cute naman ng inyong father and son encounter. Me­dyo awkward pero I am sure na later on matatawa kayo sa memory na ‘yan. And do not worry, you handled the situa­tion well and the fact na your son opened up to you ibig sabi­hin okay ang relasyon ninyong dalawa.

Let me tackle first your son’s questions, puwedeng dahil sa friction or the tightness of the grip when he masturbates. It may help to loosen the grip a bit or kaya puwede din niya i-explore ang pag gamit ng lu­bricants. Use a mild soap when cleaning his penis too.

Puwede din niyang gamitin ‘yung non-dominant hand niya for variety. I hope that the frequency is not a problem for you kasi medyo normal nga ‘yan for his age and his raging hormones.

Above all this, try to re-eval­uate how you view masturba­tion in general. Ano ba ang mga factors na nagcontribute sa pananaw mo dito? It may help you be more comfortable with talking about it with your son. This topic might be your bonding moment with your son. Self- pleasure helps us dis­cover our sexuality and makes us more comfortable with sex. Family is where we should learn about sex first.

Magiging magandang experi­ence if our kids will learn it and be comfortable talking about it with their parents. Do not be afraid to talk about this with your kids. They might be more scared of opening up with you than you are with them.

With love and lust,

Doc Rica

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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psy­chologist, Sex and Relation­ships Therapist, and Sex Edu­cator. Follow her at facebook.com/TheSexyMind and @_rica­cruz in Twitter and IG.