Sexual experiences and satisfaction

BY RICA CRUZ

Me and my girlfriend recently had a conversation about past experiences and best or most intense orgasms that we have had. Pareho naman kaming hindi insecure so we both feel safe talking about these things. Pero naisip din namin na if we compare, baka naman parang apples and oranges dahil mag­kaiba naman yata ang orgasm ng babae at lalaki so hindi sila pwedeng gamitin for com­parison. Ano nga po ba ang mga pagkakaiba?

Mr. Black

Hi sa’yo, Mr. Black!

Medyo mahirap na conver­sation yang ginagawa ninyo lalo na kapag napunta sa sino ang nakaexperience ng mas masarap na orgasm. Pero kung parehas naman kayong nanini­wala that this does not affect your relationship then good for the both of you. It is very mature that you are able to talk about each other’s sexual expe­riences and satisfaction.

Palaki na nang palaki ang consensus na walang major biological differences sa mga orgasms ng babae at lalaki. An orgasm, for majority of people consists of a contrac­tion ng pelvic floor muscles, release ng edorphins at mga hormones at mga fluids pero ito ay nagiiba-iba. During climax, may pag-iiba din ng breathing, init ng katawan, panginginig na parang kilig, o minsan ay pag-moan. Hindi ito dahil sa gender o kasar­ian.

While there are no biologi­cal differences sa orgasmic sensations, merong anatomi­cal differences na nagkaka­roon ng impact sa abilidad ng isang taong mag orgasm nang mas madalas. Ang mga babae na mas malayo ang pagitan ng clitoris at ang opening ng urethra ay maaaring mas less likely to achieve orgasms through penile penetration. Meron ding mga lalaki na nakakaachieve ng multiple orgasms na usually thought to occur only sa kababaihan.

Naaapektohan ang ating perception about gender-based orgasms dahil sa cul­ture or gender expectations. Ang sexual identity din ay nakakaapekto kagaya ng mga lesbian women ay sinasabing mas nakakaexperience ng mas mataas na pleasure than straight women. Dahil daw ito sa mas naiintindihan ng both females ang mas nakaka please sa isang babae pero walang ganitong difference between men despite their varying sexual identities.

At the end of the day, kailan­gan nating maintindihan na ang orgasms ay very subjec­tive at individual experiences. Walang easy comparison be­tween orgasms and wala din namang formula or sure na strategy. Mukhang mas okay na mag-explore kayo and see what works. Enjoy exploring and always be safe!

With Love and Lust,

Doc Rica

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Rica Cruz, PhD, RPsy is a Psychologist, Sex and Rela­tionship Therapist and Sex Educator. She is a co-host of the program Feelings at OnePH Channel 1, and listen to her podcasts, Conserva­tive Ako and The Sexy Minds. Follow her on Facebook.com/thesexymind or Instagram @_ricacruz.