Dear Manay Gina,
Like most couples, I and my husband got married with the expectation that we would have our own children. However, after many years of waiting we were forced to accept that we would never have the joy of expecting a child. We underwent every possible and imaginable examination, followed by many treatments without results.
Then, slowly, we began to think of adoption. But I still have doubts. For example, could we really love a mysterious child, with origin and background totally alien to us? I also would like to get your opinion if it’s not too late for us to adopt a child. We’re already in our 40s.
No one can predict the future. But as would-be parents, it is important that you and your husband will learn how to manage your expectations. For example, will you be able to accept a child even if he or she turns out to be much different than your expectations? Regarding your second question, as long as you are both physically fit to raise a child, it doesn’t matter if you’re 40.
Adopting a child is a big step. This means a life-long commitment. So, you and your spouse should be absolutely sure that this is what you both want. You must be mentally prepared for the changes and be financially ready too. You also need to have a stable support system – your immediate family. In addition, discussing your concerns with other adoptive parents is also important to enable you to understand their strategies in hurdling common issues about parenting.
Parenthood brings many rewards, but you must be willing to also accept the challenges. In the end, consider adoption only if you wish to enjoy the joy of parenting a child.
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“There are young people having babies every day who cannot possibly take care of them, and, as people who believe that every life is beautiful, we need to make them aware of another choice – to give that beautiful life
up for adoption.”
– John Schneider
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Send questions to email@example.com (Gina de Venecia)