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Dear Manay Gina,
Years after my sister separated from her husband, she got involved with another man. According to my sister he was a widow, with kids. My sister accepted him. Their relationship seemed serious and the guy even gave her a ring.
Suddenly he passed away and my sister found out when she called his office that he was married, not widowed as he told her. My sister is full of anger and grief and cannot find a way to obtain closure. The thing is, he has many of his personal items at my sister’s home as he was a regular visitor there. Now, she’s thinking of returning these items to his wife and just forget the whole thing. I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do. What do you think? Please advise.
Advise your sister not to return any of the gentleman’s “personal items” to the widow. The intention would be to punish the deceased, but the actual victim would be the widow, who of course, had nothing to do with this awful mess.
“Closure” is difficult to achieve when the person you want to kill is dead. To help your sister, you could encourage her to confront the anger, sense of loss and disappointment. The whole bizarre situation was simply bad luck. The very best one could say about this drama is that the man must have loved her. He just didn’t have time to organize the details, shall we say?
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“There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” – Josh Billings
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