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Dear Manay Gina,
My husband and I have been married for 11 years and immediately had four children in seven years. Our kids are doing great, but I and my husband are not. I often feel overwhelmed and I’m depressed about the distance in our relationship. Though I want to be close to my husband, I don’t know where to begin. What should I do?
To begin with, let’s agree that you are both tired! Most couples are blindsided by fatigue and the effect it has on their relationship. When couples marry, they begin the emotional, physical and spiritual task of making two into one.
Add to the mix, child-rearing and financial woes. In the end, it’s no wonder a husband and wife have no energy left for their marriage.
Now, what should you do? First, lighten your load by cutting back on the stressful activities wherever you can.
Second, consider whether your marriage has fallen into resignation. Many couples find their former freedoms crowded out by a growing list of obligations, and they begin to live with resentment. Then, guard against resignation by realizing that commitment is a far better response. Commitment acknowledges the difficulties of your current stage of life, but it diligently looks for what’s good about it. Lastly, find new ways to put some punch back into your life; and begin enjoying those things soon – together.
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“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
– Mignon McLaughlin
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Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org (Gina de Venecia)