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Husband’s strange stress-reliever

Dear Manay Gina,
My husband and I are both professionals. We also have two children. Recently, I found out that he had been visiting a massage parlor for at least once a month. When I confronted him about it, he said he had been doing it only because he gets stressed over work. He said he knows it’s wrong and reasoned that it is his monthly treat for himself, in the same manner that I sometimes reward myself with clothes, jewelry, etc. I was so hurt and angry. I can’t believe he even compared his “monthly massage” to shopping. How do I address this problem?


Dear Letty,
If he says he knows it’s wrong, then I assume you both know that there is more than just “massage” offered in that place. Therefore, he must stop going there for a “monthly treat”. However, admitting to you that he did get regular “massage” is not an easy task. This means that he is somewhat remorseful. So pursue this positive development. Tell him it hurts you and then proceed to find something else to take care of his stress, like going to the gym, sports activities, family movie night, etc.

Sadly, one of the major casualties of the harried pace of working parents is the loss of intimacy. So, you need to show him that you are committed to your marriage by revisiting and improving this area in your relationship. Good luck!


Manay Gina

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“There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.” – Valerie Bertinelli

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Send questions to dearmanaygina@yahoo.com (Gina de Venecia)