Dear Manay Gina,
I have been dating a particular friend for several months now. We have such a great time together, and he is the perfect boyfriend in most respects. We’re more than friends but not lovers. My problem is that he seems to be under the impression that I really love him. I know that I’m hurting our friendship by not being honest. He is too needy for me, and I am too independent for him. I have tried to discourage him but I can’t seem to come right out and tell him that there is no way we can be sweethearts.
It’s a little hard to see how someone you are desperately trying to unload is a “perfect boyfriend,” but let us continue. Life is choices and if you can’t get it together to level with this man about your feelings – or lack of them, you could find yourself saddled with him for who knows how long? It is admirable to wish to spare peoples’ feelings, but in this situation you are just prolonging the agony.
It would be beyond goofy to let a guy hang around because you were “too polite” to tell him you didn’t love him. You MUST come right out and tell him the truth. You might add that because there is no future with you, he must accept that fact and begin to look for the wonderful girl he deserves.
* * *
“Love is not only something you feel. It’s something you do.” – David Wilkerson
* * *
Send questions to email@example.com (Gina de Venecia)