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Don’t go back, move on!

Dear Manay Gina,
Last year I discovered that my husband of 12 years had been very unfaithful. He had romantic flings with two different women. Both affairs ended when I discovered them myself. Through a very intense period of talking and crying and reconnecting, I and my husband have repaired the damage between us and made the marriage much stronger.

Yes, there’s still pain but in many ways, we’re happier now. Here’s my question: How can I satisfy my urge to punish the two women who almost destroyed my marriage? (The other one is married.) I know my husband was as much to blame, but that doesn’t let these women off the hook. I’m not a violent person, I just want to exact some price from those who did me wrong.


Dear Darcy,
I’m not unsympathetic to your wish to punish these two women. The problem is that there’s not much you can do to hurt them and and thereby gain satisfaction. If you were to pass on your information to the husband of the married one, you might make some trouble for him – but you would also be causing pain to his blameless husband. In short, there’s not much to be done to or about a woman, who’s into seducing other women’s husbands.

If your real objective is to let these women know that you know, a good guess is that they already do, and they also know you’re still married. These women mean nothing to you. It’s your husband’s infidelity (twice, yet) that has caused the hurt. So the most useful suggestion I can offer is that you take the advice of Stella Adler, the great acting coach: “Don’t go back … move on.”


Manay Gina

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“By forgiving and choosing to move on, one takes the power back to morph it into positive energy.”

– Eugenia Tripputi

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Send questions to dearmanaygina@yahoo.com (Gina de Venecia)