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Is my BF cheating?

Dear Ms. Rica,
Nakita ko po na may ibang kausap sa text ang boyfriend ko. Hindi ko po alam gagawin ko. May iba pa pong nagpapadala ng topless photos. At nagrereply pa po siya. I don’t know what to do. I feel so hurt po. Gusto ko po siya kausapin pero hindi ko po alam kung paano nang hindi siya magagalit. Gusto ko po malaman kung cheating po ba ang ginagawa niya?

Help,
W

Hi W,
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. Masakit at nakakagalit nga kapag nalaman mo na may ibang kausap ang boyfriend mo. Kudos to you at hindi ikaw nag-react agad at napigilan mo ang maghurumintado. Sana ay kalmado ka pa rin hanggang ngayon at napagisipan na ang mga hakbang na pwedeng gawin para matugun an ang problema mo.

As for your question kung cheating ba ang ginagawa ng boyfriend mo, mahirap ‘yan sagutin. Cheating is in the eye of the beholder (or the beholders.) Ibig sabihin, nasa inyong dalawa iyon.

Kayong dalawa ang dapat magdecide kung ano ang pwedeng i-consider na cheating sa inyong relasyon. As I tell couples, communication is very essential. There are some people who would see what your boyfriend did as cheating. For others, hindi. Ang importante dito ay kung ano ang nararamdaman mo sa nangyari at kung paano ka naaapektuhan nito.

You did say that you don’t know how to talk to your boyfriend about this. I would suggest that you open the conversation in a calm manner. Explain how you felt when you saw the messages and the pictures. Importante din na napagisipan mo na maigi kung ano ang gusto mong makuha from the conversation.

Consider this: If you ask your boyfriend about the text messages and he believes that he was not cheating, ibig bang sabihin, you would also be allowed to text and photos to other people? Gugustuhin mo ba? Ito ang mga bagay na kailangan niyo pagtuunan ng pansin. Kailangan niyo din pagusapan kung paano ninyo mapagkakatiwalaan ang isa’t-isa. He might take it against you that you went through his phone without permission. Ibig sabihin, pareho na kayong nagdududa sa isa’t-isa.

Alam ko mahirap pagusapan, but, ideally, this conversation could help both of you understand more deeply what’s going on in your relationship that made him want to talk to other people, and made you want to go through his phone. Maigi nang mapagusapan ang problema habang maaga bago ito tuluyang lumala. Good luck and take care!

#takeitfromthesexymind

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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9. (Rica Cruz)

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