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My ex left me and I’m pregnant

By: Rica Cruz

Dear Ms. Rica:

Please help me out. I had a boyfriend for two months, and feeling ko, siya na talaga. But, two weeks ago, he said that he doesn’t want to see me anymore.

At first, masakit, pero feeling ko, kaya ko naman, until yesterday. I just found out that I’m pregnant.

Hindi ko po alam gagawin ko. I think I’m of the right age naman. But, should I tell him? But if I do, would he think na pinipikot ko lang siya?

I do not want to be with him anymore. I just hate him so much, pero hindi ko po alam gagawin ko. Nababaliw na ba ako?

Help me please.

L

Dear L:
You sound very much hurt and upset at gulong-gulo ka sa kung anong kailangan mong gawin. Please know that whatever you’re feeling, these are normal considering what you’re going through. Hindi ka nababaliw.

It seems like that you and your ex had a bad break up, kaya normal lang din na you feel conflicted about telling him about your pregnancy.

You felt betrayed by him once, why would you trust him again, right?

To help you decide, you may want to reflect on your own feelings and what role you want him to take during your pregnancy. Kunyari, do you want him to support you during the pregnancy? Do you want his opinion on how to go through with the pregnancy?

If you’ll push through, do you want him as a co-parent? These questions can help you decide on whether to tell him or not.

It would also be helpful to ponder on how he would possibly react. What would be his best reaction? How about the worst? Sabi mo nga, baka isipin niya na pikot ang pangyayari. Pero, pwede rin naman siyang maging masaya and excited.

The point is, there’s no way to predict how he will react, so it’s better to be ready for both the best and the worst if you decide to tell him.

Whatever your decision is – to tell him or not – how you choose to deal with your pregnancy is solely up to you. This is your body and your future baby, so ikaw ang may hawak ng lahat. And if you find that it’s pointless to tell him and decide that this whole pregnancy is more personal and that you don’t want to share it with your ex – then that’s perfectly fine.

I suggest that you take some time to consider your options and how you feel. Take care of yourself first. Pause. Take a break. Go to the doctor. Sleep right. Eat well. Reach out to your family and friends.

They may be able to guide you to look at the situation from different perspectives. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

At this point in your life, you need all the support you can get from people you can trust. And remember, you’re not alone. #takeitfromthesexymind

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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Twitter or Instagram: @_ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.

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