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Why are some people envious?

By: Chinkee Tan

You can’t avoid people who are envious and jealous of your success.

We can never escape these people who tries to bring you down. Because insecure people tend to bring down others.

I can still recall when I was invited to be one of the speakers in a conference. It was a full house event and people were really so excited with the things that they are going to learn on that day from all of the speakers. I was the first speaker and I was given 45 minutes to speak. As a communicator, I was trained by Francis Kong to adhere to the time allotted in respect to the next speaker. I was very sensitive with the time allotted and finished my talk on time.

After the seminar, a lot of people approached me to have their book signed or have photos taken. All of this was happening while the next speaker was being introduced. I was so surprised when the opening statement of the next speaker was, “It really is a challenge to give a speech after someone like Chinkee Tan. Plus, I don’t have books to market.”

I was surprised! Why would he say something like that? What was he thinking? I really couldn’t understand. It was uncalled for and kind of embarrassing. Embarrassed not for my sake but for his sake.

WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO ARE ENVIOUS/JEALOUS?

INSECURE
Jealous and envious people think lowly of themselves. They want to succeed but they don’t believe they have what it takes. They have low morale and self-confidence. The moment they see that someone else is getting ahead of them, their insecurities start to show.

THEY COMPARE THEMSELVES WITH OTHERS
They like comparing themselves to others. “How fortunate of them,” is something they would say a lot.

If you keep on looking at the lives of others, you can’t plan and work on your life properly.

VICTIM MENTALITY
These are the unhappiest people in the world.

They feel like they’re always down and are never given a good break in life.

They think that the world owes them everything, and when things don’t go their way, they feel victimized.

They are so self-centered, always just thinking of themselves.

This is the reason why they are always unhappy.

This is one thing I learned in life; the hardest person to please in this world is no other than yourself.

Don’t waste time on people who are insecure and jealous.

Don’t even give them any attention. The moment you do, the more you feed their egos because they see that you are paying attention to them.

Just carry on with your life knowing that you’re not doing anything wrong to anyone.

I still hear people talking badly about me.

“He doesn’t know a thing!”

“What he teaches isn’t even important.”

“He doesn’t even know how to speak English properly.”

How do I respond to all of these haters?

I IGNORE THEM.

Why? I met this well-known director in the 1980s who makes 8 to 10 films in a year.

A lot of people were envious and jealous of my friend because of his projects. Many would criticize him and his films, saying that they were of poor quality.

And this is what he would tell me, “Chinkee, let them be. They can only affect you if you let them. JUST LET THEM DIE OF ENVY!”

If there are lots of people who are jealous of you and your accomplishments, let them be. Let them go mad like dogs, waiting for you to respond so they can bite you.

Just as long as you know that your success is not getting into your head, and you are choosing to remain humble at times of victory, keep on doing what you love the most and continue to live your life according to your calling and purpose.

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.

Are you bothered and distracted by the envious people around you?

What did you learned from this session?

How can you apply it in your personal and professional life?

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