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Getting back your mojo

By: Rica Cruz

Hi Ms. Rica,
I am an avid reader of your column. I am aware that my husband and I are not doing it as much as we should. Minsan, every other month na lang. We tried putting it on a schedule para every week, pero parang hindi ako na-a-arouse.

Minsan, I just go about the routine just to get it over with. I don’t want to deprive my husband na sa iba na siya magpunta. What can we do?


Hi T,
I’m sorry that you feel that way. Sometimes in marriages, the sex does stop happening. And there are times that it affects the whole relationship. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. I am glad that you’re aware of what’s going on between you and your husband in terms of your sexy time. So here are some tips to help you get your marriage mojo back up:

Communicate! Be honest and talk about how you feel. Set aside time to stay emotionally connected. Healthy couples talk at least 20 minutes a day – not just about sexy time, but also about how you feel about each other. Kapag alam na niya kung anong nararamdaman mo, then he can help you enjoy sexy time more so you’d be excited about it.

Date night! A lot of couples forget that the date is part of the foreplay. It’s something that should inspire you and excite you. Plan a special night out, go to a romantic dinner, and if you like dancing, go dance from time to time.

Do things that you used to do when you were just boyfriend and girlfriend! Do you used to make out in movie theatres?

Then do that again! I know it sounds ridiculous, but wouldn’t that help you get out of your routine?

Enjoy your sexy time. When you have sexy time, try to focus on your hubby’s touch and smell, and how all these make you feel. Huwag ka ma-stuck sa he-has-to-finish-and-I-just-want-this-to-be-done-with mindset. Don’t you think that would be unfair to you na siya lang ang nag-e-enjoy? Do things that would pleasure you! If you want him to do something for you, then say it. If you want to touch yourself during the act, then do it! Ang importante, pareho kayong nag-e-enjoy.

Have fun by yourself. If you can’t enjoy your sexy time with your husband, then at the very least, have fun with yourself and by yourself. Explore what would make you aroused and excited for him. Minsan kasi, we just need to be re-acquainted with the pleasure that we feel during sexy time. Pag-alam mo na, you can teach him, or make him watch you do it! For sure, that would take you out of the routine.

MOMOL. (make out-make out lang). Minsan, when you’re both tired and not in the mood for it, you really don’t need to go all in sexy time. Minsan, kissing, cuddling, and canoodling each other are enough to keep that excitement alive.

So don’t pressure yourself too much. What’s important is that you and your hubby are connected – in more ways than one. #takeitfromthesexymind

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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me atwww.facebook.com/TheSexyMind or DM me on Instagram: _ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.