CRITICISMS can make a reĀcipient feel uncomfortable.
They may also cause pain to a certain extent, but there are times when you need to say your observation out of concern. Even this gives you a little probĀlem. You donāt know how someĀone will react. You worry that in saying what a person needs to know, the response will not be good for the relationship. At the same time, you worry that if you donāt let the concerned person know about it, he or she might be disadvantaged or even harmed.
If you intend to give an obserĀvation, consider the following:
Tell it directly to the person concerned when he or she is not stressed, tired, hungry, and busy. Say it in private. Be gentle and consider the other personās feelings. Take this reminder from Frank Clark, āCriticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourĀish a manās growth without deĀstroying his rootsā.
Mention peopleās strong points before you give your assessment. Remind them that they have good points, too. It will help them accept criticisms objectively.
Explain your reason for giving an opinion. When people realize the disadvantage of not knowing about what you told them, they will see your concern.
Determine if people are open to criticisms. Some people easily get angry when you talk about their behavior. Instead of appreciating your honesty and concern, they start enumerating your own misĀtakes and imperfections. If thatās the way they respond, donāt proĀlong the discussion.
If you are the recipient of criticisms, consider the points discussed here. In addition, appreciate a personās concern if the criticisms are valid. CritiĀcisms can make you feel uncomĀfortable, embarrassed and hurt ā but there are times when inĀdividuals (and institutions) need them, too. Be wise in determinĀing the motive behind them.
āAn acquaintance merely enĀjoys your company, a fair-weathĀer companion flatters when all is well. A true friend has your best interests at heart and the pluck to tell you what you need to hearā (E.A. Bucchianeri).