Dear Ms. Rica,
We need help in our relationship. ‘Yung relationship namin ay relatively new and about 3 months old. Sexually active naman kami since naging kami. Pero our main problem is hindi nagri-reach ng orgasm ‘yung boyfriend ko. Wala naman problem in him getting an erection in the first place. Pero ‘yung orgasm talaga problema. Kahit oral sex hindi nagwowork. Wala naman daw siyang problems from his previous relationships. Minsan tuloy napapa-isip ako kung ako ba ang may problema. Sana po ay matulungan niyo kami. Thank you
Dead End
Hi Dead End,
Maniwala ka man o hindi, maraming nakakaexperience ng ganyang issue in their sex lives. Alam kong nakakafrustrate ito hindi lamang sa perspective mo kung hindi sa perspective din ng iyong partner. Merong iba’t ibang approach para sa ganitong mga issue dependesa reason kung bakit sya nag-ooccur.
Kapag matagal mag orgasm ang isang lalaki, tinatawagitong DE or delayed ejaculation. Umaabot minsan ng 30 to 45 minutes bago mag ejaculate kapag may ganitong condition. Merong mga times na ang mga individuals na ito ay hindi nanakakaexperience ng ejaculation at all.
Minsan, may factor din na psychological lalona kung may anxiety na or pressure to perform well during sex. I can suggest some methods para mabigyan ng attention kung ano man ang bumabagabag sa kanya. Isa dito ang pagcocondition through masturbation. Importante ito para malaman nya kung paano ang kanyang preferences and what works for him to come. Always keep the communication open between you guys when it comes to sex. Kailangan mabawasan ang kanyang performance anxiety or low self-esteem kung nararamdaman nya ito. Relax and chill lang din siguro dahil minsan iba talagang sexual expectations from reality.
Kailangan nyo din icheck if may ibang factors baka gaya ng age or iba pang medical condition na maaaring nakakaapekto sa kanyang hindi pag ejaculate. For this, I suggest you go to your doctor or medical professional para macheck ng mabuti at makapagbigay ng karampatang lunas.
Keep on exploring what works for you and your partner. Relatively new pa lang kayo together so give it time it can get better with constant communication. Always enjoy and be safe.
With Love and Lust,
Rica
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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @_ricacruz and www.facebook.com/TheSexyMind
Biography: Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist and Sex Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Sex Therapist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.