Hello Ma’am Rica,
I have been dating my boyfriend for about eight months na. Virgin pa po ako at 18-years-old na. Sabi nya, he has been waiting long enough. Lalo na ngayong hindi kami nagkikita dahil sa ECQ. Takot ako sa consequences tulad ng pagbubuntis but I keep telling myself na as long as protected naman kami when we do it, it should be okay.
Sa ngayon, ang pakiramdam ko ay hindi pa ako ready at hindi ko pa gustong makipag-sex pero iniisip ko din na big deal nga ba ‘yon or something.
If it were only up to me, I want to wait sana. I want to do it right and I don’t want this to be one of those things na niregret ko sa buhay ko. On the other hand, I keep fantasizing about having sex with my boyfriend pero pag andun na, natatakot talaga ako. Normal ba tong confusion na ito, or product ba sya ng upbringing or something?
Salamat,
Missing BF But Scared
Hello Missing BF But Scared,
Malaking decision ang pakikipagsex para sa madaming tao. Magandang consideration ang iyong values and level of comfort with doing it. Makakacontribute ito sa pagiging meaningful ng iyong experience once you decide to have sex with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend may be ready and been waiting for a while pero kailangan niyang maging respectful sa iyong decision and feelings. Magandang i-discuss ninyo ito lalo na if you feel you are not ready in consideration of how you might feel when you do it in the future.
Meanwhile, you can explore other sexual or romantic activities with your boyfriend. If merong ibang activities that you are willing to do with him, maganda ding i-discuss mo ito sa kanya. Hindi naman kailangang sex agad. Take it one baby step at a time until you are both ready and wala sa inyong napipilitan.
Normal lang na magkaroon ng fantasies about your boyfriend, lalo na dahil matagal kayong hindi nagkikita. Sa ngayong magkahiwalay kayo dahil sa ECQ, bakit hindi niyo i-try muna ang sexting, o kaya ang phone sex, puwede ring cyber sex pero dapat ay maging maingat kayo sa platform na gagamitin niyo. Lalo na’t madaming sex videos ang naglalabasan ngayon.
Sex can be a wonderful thing pero kailangan you do it in the best situation na komportable kayo ng boyfriend mo. Isama ninyo na din sa discussion ang contraceptive na puwede niyong i-consider kapag gagawin niyo na ito. Maraming products in the market and tons of references online. Always talk about how you both feel about this. And always be respectful of your feelings and needs. Kung hindi mo pa talaga kaya, don’t do it. Good luck!
With love and lust,
Rica
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Rica Cruz is a Licensed Psychologist, Sex and Relationships Therapist, Sex Educator. She opines that sexual empowerment for Filipinos is sexier than sex.
Follow her at facebook. com/TheSexyMind and facebook.com/ ConservativeAko and @_ ricacruz in Twitter and IG and subscribe to her podcast, bit.ly/conservativeako on Spotify. Join the Conservative Ako Community on Facebook for more advise on sex and love!