Teach children how to become strong

BY MARILYN C. ARAYATA

Overprotective parents shield their children from the simplest forms of discomfort and pain. They give them everything they want. They do everything for them and then they complain that the young ones are lazy and lacking in confidence.

Too much comfort does not lead to growth. There is beauty in every struggle. There is growth in discomfort. There is strength in pain. If you want children and young people to become strong, teach them the following:

–Teach them basic skills like cooking, cleaning, budgeting and saving, problem-solving, protecting themselves from natural calamities, and avoiding accidents and crimes. Involve them. Give them assignments that will help develop their confidence and sense of responsibility.

– Teach them about goal-setting and how to achieve results. Show them the importance of effort and sacrifice. Tell them that it’s okay to fail sometimes, that no one gets everything in life, that losses and heartaches are unavoidable, but they are not the end. They need your support and reassurance.

Show them that it’s okay to admit their mistakes and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect. They do not need everybody’s approval to be happy. They do not need to please everybody.

Teach them how to let go of undesirable feelings and situations, how to let go of people who choose to move on without them, how to let go of things that are not meant for them.

Tell them to recall small victories when things are not fine. Here’s something from David Goggins: “Remembering what you’ve been through and how that has strengthened your mindset can lift you out of a negative brain loop and help you bypass those weak, one-second impulses to give in. Even if you’re feeling low and beat down by life right now, I guarantee you can think of a time or two when you overcame odds and tasted success.”

Tell them stories of strong people, those who are able to persist no matter what happened in the past, those who carry their burdens and are capable of forgiving others, those who move on with their lives no matter what others say.